This article was first posted to rec.sports.pro-wrestling.fantasy by me sometime in 1996. At the time, I was a writer for an email Fantasy Pro Wrestling league. The following I am reposting it here to share it with the millions of people who have joined the internet in the last 5 years.
[“Bad to the Bone” rocks in the background. The WHWF logo floats over clips from last week’s Madness.>
HERE COMES COLT! COLT GRABS THE BAT THAT PRATTY BROUGHT WITH HIM, JUMPS INTO THE RING, AND SMASHES PRATTY ACROSS THE BACK! PRATTY’S OUT! COLT PUTS BANGER ON TOP OF PRATTY AND GETS OUT OF THE RING!
Missile: In the ring, Hanger has Buster set up on the table. Hanger is going up to the top rope. Brawler comes running into the ring, jumps over the table and pushes one of Hanger’s legs! Hanger drops straight down, straddling the turnbuckle cable! Hanger’s gonna be singing soprano! Buster rolls off of the table. Brawler climbs up to the top rope lifts Hanger up, AND HE GIVES HIM THE BAD BOY BRAINBUSTER THROUGH THE TABLE! HANGER IS INJURED BADLY! FORGET ABOUT THIS ONE!
Fifi is in the ring to protest, but Baldwin grabs ahold of her! Baldwin picks up Fifi and is carrying her out of the ring! Baldwin is going out the front door of the arena! He’s leaving with Fifi! Fabio is still rolling around in pain on the mat!
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH, AND THE NEW CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD, SID “STRAY CAT” STARR!!!!!!!!!!!!
Vinnie picks up the champ and chokeslams him! Vinnie picks him back up, throws him into the ropes, and catches him with an elbow. Vinnie tries for the Hangman, but Holiday quickly gets to the ropes. Vinnie grabs a hold of him, pulls him away from the ropes, and chokeslams him again!
ANNOUNCER: WHWF Wednesday Night Madness. If you miss it once, you’ve miss it all!
[Fade to black.]
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