The Gospel of John is weighing on me. I am really not liking it much at all. As I noted in my previous post, there are just so many things in John that are different or don’t exist in the other Gospels. And John is putting so much energy into painting Jesus as confident and sure of his own divinity, but it comes off as cocky and preachy. I’ll have more in a conclusion at the end of the post. I can give you the short version: Thank God John is almost finished.

Chapter 13
John agrees with Luke that it is the devil that actually causes Judas to betray Jesus. Which is interesting, considering what John wrote about Judas in the previous chapter. While Satan is working his dark magic on Judas, Jesus goes around the room, washing all of the disciples feet. Simon Peter refuses, until Jesus tells Simon that Simon can no longer follow Jesus if Simon doesn’t allow Jesus to wash Simon’s feet. [ed. note: I hate sentences where I can’t use a pronoun without adding more confusion…] Simon relents, of course.

I have a side story here. Once upon a time, about two decades ago or so, I developed a crush on a woman. A strong enough crush that I started going to her church. I have since named this church “the psycho church” for many reasons. One is because of the practice of that denomination. It’s a United Pentecostal church. If you don’t know the Pentecostals, you probably won’t believe this. They are ultra-fundamental, believing that men shouldn’t grow their hair long, women shouldn’t cut their hair nor wear makeup, unmarried men and women shouldn’t mingle, no one should even think about watching tv or movies, etc. I am getting a little off-track here, so let me try to be a bit more concise.

At the psycho church, parts of the Bible were taken literally. Not all the parts of the Bible, mind you, but some disturbing parts. Including washing feet. It was an annual tradition to have one night where people would get together and wash one another’s feet. As I mentioned in the previous paragraph, men and women didn’t mingle, which means that the pastor actually wanted men to wash other men’s feet. That was right about the time that I decided I needed to flee the psycho church.

Back to our story, Jesus tells the disciples that he is going to give a piece of bread to the man that will betray him. Jesus then hands the piece of bread to Judas. For some reason, the other 11 don’t immediately say “A ha! Judas is the traitor!” Instead, they continued to wonder who Jesus could be talking about. Apparently the Disciples are dumb as a box of hammers.

At the table, there was an interesting scene. John delivers this as a throw-away line: “One of his disciples, the one whom Jesus kept loving, was sitting very close to him. So Simon Peter motioned to this man…” I continue to believe that Mary is actually Jesus’s wife, and is the disciple that John is referring to. The “this man” statement sounds tacked on to me, put in place of “her”?

One other detail: Chapter 13 has another one of those verses that make my brain hurt as I try to parse them:  “If God has been glorified in him, God will also glorify the Son of Man in himself, and he will glorify him at once.” That is John 13:32 in the ISV. The King James Version is even more muddied (if that is possible):  “If God be glorified in him, God shall also glorify him in himself, and shall straightway glorify him.”

Chapter 14
Jesus shares his last words with his disciples. Two of whom get name checked: Phillip, and Judas (not Iscariot). And I swear that “not Iscariot” is directly from the Bible. Look it up! John 14:22.

It is kind of surprising to me just how much of Jesus’s speech in John 14 is used by Christian denominations as major parts of their dogma. “There are many rooms in my Father’s house.” “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”  “If you ask me for anything in my name, I will do it.” “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give unto you”

Oh, and Unitarians love this chapter, too: “The person who has seen me has seen the Father.” “Believe me, I am in the Father and the Father is in me.”

For the most part, though, I find this a boring chapter. Moving on.

Chapter 15
Two for two on the boring meter. Jesus talks about vines and branches, and says that no one can bear fruit unless it is through Christ. Which I am pretty sure contradicts what the other gospels say. The other gospels state that a person can do good acts because they are good at heart. It doesn’t say that they can only do these good deeds through Jesus. I find this oddly possessive. Perhaps indicative of a religion that wanted to make its followers listen only to the church?

Chapter 16
Jesus continues to try and prepare his disciples for life after Jesus dies. The disciples – who we’ve already established aren’t necessarily the brightest – still don’t understand that Jesus is saying he is going to die soon. They question his words, trying to make sense out of them. Jesus warns that he will soon leave them, and that the world will then want to persecute and kill the disciples.

Chapter 17
I am starting to see a conspiracy theory here. This chapter very neatly echoes Chapter 15, but in a very clumsy way. Chapter 17 is theoretically a prayer from Jesus to God. The crux of the prayer is: I am leaving so that the Disciples can become the new rulers of my church. Please guide them well, and allow the rest of the world’s people follow what they say. My conspiracy theory is this: John used the latter part of his Gospel specifically to justify the Disciples and their descendents as the de facto leaders of the Christian church. Much of what John writes in his Gospel that doesn’t appear in the other three relates to the Disciples and how they relate to Jesus’s teachings.

What do you think? Am I on to something here?

Chapter 18
Judas betrays Jesus. Judas actually leads officers and a detatchment of soldiers to arrest Jesus, which again is interesting. Since when did Judas hold a position of power? Or if he didn’t, why would the Pharisees allow him to be in a place of command? This doesn’t make any sense to me, though by now you know that is not out of the ordinary. I am not a fan of the Gospel of John.

In John’s Gospel, Jesus walks up to meet the traitor and the Pharisee’s troops. Jesus calmly announces that he is the man they’ve come to arrest. And then John’s perplexing writing confuses me.

At first, this seems straight-forward. In verse 6, John writes that “they backed away and fell to the ground.” Sounds like John is saying that the soldiers and officers were so stunned by Jesus that they fell backwards out of fear. That actually makes sense, in context. But then v. 8 muddies this, as Jesus is talking to the soldiers, it sounds like Jesus is saying it is his disciples that fell to the ground: “I told you that I am [Jesus]. So if you are looking for me, let these men go.” I am so confused.

Jesus is brought before the high priests, then marched to Pilate. Pilate interviews Jesus, and finds him blameless. He tells the Jews this, but they want him put to death. It is the Sabbath, so the Pharisees cannot do it themselves. So the Romans have no choice but to do it for them.

Again I ask: how is it that the Romans have to do what the Pharisees say? The Romans have conquered Judea; why does Pilate have to do anything for the Pharisees?

Up next: John writes a new end to the Gospels

New installments of The New Testament In Review will be posted each Monday and Thursday. The new posts will always be on my blog, http://biffster.org. The entire series is accessible via http://biffster.org/ntir. If you are one of my Facebook friends, you can get an advance preview on my Facebook page. You can also follow me (@biffster) on Twitter to be alerted to new posts.

Thank you for coming back to read more of this series, The New Testament in Review.

As much as I liked the Gospel of Luke, I am starting to get a bit bored with the Gospels. It’s the same thing as reading four novels based on the same events back-to-back-to-back-to-back. Even though the gospels are so different, and the authors had different views on what events happened and what they meant, in the end, the Gospels are far too similar for a fourth reading. Because of this, I am going to do my best to fly through John’s Gospel. If I can get through this in one week, I’ll be a happy camper.

Gospel of John

Chapter 1
John immediately annoys me by stealing from the Dao De Jing, but twisting the words. Seriously, the first three lines of John 1 echo the first few lines of the Chapter 41:

John settles down and tells the tale of John the Baptist. Though verses 6-9 could just be John giving himself some love (“There was a man sent from God, whose name was John. He came as a witness to testify about the light, so that all might believe through him.”) John baptizes people and tells that Jesus will follow him and baptize people in the holy spirit. John gives the “I am not worthy to untile his sanda straps” bit.

John tells those gathered that he had heard God saying that Jesus was God’s son while John baptised Jesus. I can’t help notice here that only John heard this, and he then told everyone else “I heard this voice say…” Mind you, this is John the Baptist, he who wears clothes made out of camel hair, fasts all the time and chooses to live in the wilderness. In other words, he might not be the most credible witness in Judea at the time.

John tells his disciples that Jesus is “the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world!” This sounds promising, so John’s disciples abandon him and run to follow Jesus instead. One of the two is Andrew, who also brought his brother Simon Peter to follow Jesus. Nathaniel also joins the group, but first delivers a line which made me giggle: “Out of Nazareth? What good can that be?”

Chapter 2
We’ve mostly gone over this in the previous three Gospels. The wedding in Cana where Jesus turns water into very good wine at his mother Mary’s behest. On a side note: how much fun would it be for Mary to have a child who can perform miracles on demand? Instead of taking your son with you and saying “Why don’t you show Uncle Jim how well you can whistle,” you could say “Why don’t you show Uncle Jim that you can cure his skin cancer!”

Jesus also drives out the moneychanges and vendors from the Temple, using a whip out of cords. That sounds painful… Jesus’s disciples then remember a bit of scripture (“Zeal for your house will consume me.”) which doesn’t really seem to fit Jesus’s reaction, but they feel that Jesus just fulfilled that prophesy. I think that is something of a stretch.

Jesus also says the “destroy this sanctuary and I will rebuild it in three days” which – at least according to some of the previous gospels – ends up being the charge that leads Jesus to a death sentence.

Chapter 3
Nicodemus the Pharisee comes to see Jesus. This gives Jesus a chance to dictate a favorite theme of John’s: a person must be baptized to see the kingdom of heaven. Jesus speaks in parable, of course, saying that a person must be  born of spirit as well as flesh. Actually, I guess that isn’t really a parable. Still, his point comes across.

This chapter also contains the verse loved by sign holders everywhere, John 3:16. This is either supposed to be universally known or is a secret code known only to sign-holders and true believers, since the signs normally only say “John 3:16” with noting quoted out of the verse. I reckon I should do the same, but just in case some of my readers don’t know, this verse says “God so loved the world that he gave his only son so that those who believe in him may have everlasting life.” Or something like that.

I find this verse and the whole idea repugnant. Who would sacrifice their son? Who could condone human sacrifice, even if that human is part God? There is just something wrong with that whole concept.  I know that many people use this as a tent pole for their faith. I see it as proof that God is off of his rocker. If God is God, he could’ve simply said “Sacrifices are no longer necessary, everyone’s sins can now be forgiven, you no longer need to use blood – animal or human.” Instead, he chooses to allow humans to torture then murder his only son? That is not a sign of a stable person. Or stable Deity. Take your pick.  (Another side note: the Unitarian view reduces the harshness of this, since they believe that Jesus was God in his totality, so it wasn’t a son who was murdered, just a temporary form of the Almighty.)

John the Baptist is back. People have noticed that Jesus has started baptising people, and those who know of John want to know what the deal is. John says that he is not jealous, nor is Jesus wrong. John has a great line about being second fiddle: “It is the bridegroom who gets the bride, yet the bridegroom’s friend, who merely stands by and listens for him, is overjoyed to hear the bridegroom’s voice.” (John 3:29)

Chapter 4
I think John is the first of the Gospel writers to point out that Jews had issues with Samaritans. This adds context to the story of the good Samaritan (though I am guessing that John doesn’t recount that particular story). The other Gospel authors could’ve just been assuming that their readers would know that Jews didn’t like Samaritans. Or this could be a bias on John’s part which wasn’t shared by the other three.

Jesus ends up in Samaria after fleeing from the Pharisees. This was apparently a very long journey, because Jesus is so weary from the journey that he collapses at the side of a well (Jacob’s Well). He asks a woman if she can get him a drink from the well. The unnamed woman knows how Jews feel about Samaritans, so she is very shocked to have Jesus make such a request. Jesus tells her about living waters and eternal springs. John appears to find this whole subject very interesting, but it really isn’t. The end result: Jesus’s disciples return to him before the woman actually gets Jesus a drink.

The disciples are mortified that Jesus is talking to a woman (they apparently have nothing against Samaritans either) but hold their tongues. The woman leaves her water jar and presuably drinks.

You know, I almost think that Jesus is delirius from hunger and thirst here. The subjects he speaks of are random, and his words seem disoriented or hazy. For example, in verse 22, he tells the woman, “You don’t know what you’re worshiping. We know what we’re worshiping, for salvation comes from the Jews.” In verse 34, Jesus answers a question of “have something to eat!” with “My food is doing the will of the one who sent me and completing his work. You say, don’t you, ‘In four more months the harvest will be here?’ Look, I tell you, open your eyes and observe that the fields are ready for harvesting!” That just seems a bit random to me…

Chapter 5
John’s view of Jesus is… I guess “interesting” is the best word. In John, Jesus spends a lot of time telling everyone that he is the son of God. He’s trying to convince people of this, but in a really weird, indirect way, it sounds like he is trying to convince himself. Either that, or he is trying his hand at fake humility. In John 5:31-34, Jesus says “If I testify about myself, my testimony is not true” but if John the Baptist says that Jesus is the Christ, then it has to be true. At least, I am assuming he is referring to Mr. The Baptist. He only mentions “John,” so this could be Gospel author John proclaiming his own importance to Jesus’s teachings and claims of being the Son of God. At this point, I really don’t know. This chapter has officially lost me.

Oh, at the end of the chapter, Jesus says that Moses was writing about Jesus. That might or might not be important further on in the story, but I figure it can’t hurt to mention it.

Chapter 6
John’s Jesus has an air of a arrogance about him that is inherently disagreeable. It reminds me a bit of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix when Harry starts getting so distraught that he became a bit unlikable. The same kind of thing is happening here. For example: in the miracle of the loaves and fish, John says that “Jesus said this to test him, for he himself knew what he was going to do.” That feels wrong to me; it’s almost teasing his disciples, who just wanted to do right by him. John also states that Jesus realized the people were “about to come and take him by force to make him king.” Where did that come from? In the previous Gospels, the people loved Jesus and referred to him as their great prophet and teacher. They never wanted to make him a King, though. Where’d John come up with this?

Jesus and his disciples head back to Capernaum (one thing all of the Gospel authors agree on: Jesus was practically tied to Capernaum. He always returned back to the town, though we aren’t given a reason as to why). In the synagogue there, Jesus goes back to teaching the people. And again, Jesus’s words seem to be mostly about establishing himself as the definite, true son of god: “For I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will, but the will of the one who sent me. And this is the will of the one who sent me, that I should not lose anything that he has given me, but should raise it to life on the last day. For this is my Father’s will, that everyone who sees the Son and believes in him should have eternal life, and I will raise him to life on the last day.”

(Another interesting disparity between John and the other three Gospels: in John’s gospel, Jesus constantly says “Truly, truly I tell you…” while in the other three, Jesus does not add the forceful repetition of “truly.”  Contrast “Truly I tell you” with “Truly, truly I tell you.” Does not the second implore – almost command – one to believe?)

Jesus spends the last half of this chapter declaring and repeating that his flesh and blood are the true bread and wine of everlasting life, and that everyone who wants to believe must both eat and drink of these. He says this so many times and the imagery is so stark that all of his disciples except for the 12 abandon Jesus. Where in the world did that come from? The previous three gospels didn’t hint at this, either.

Jesus finishes off this chapter by reassuring the 12 remaining disciples: “I chose you twelve, didn’t I? Yet one of you is a devil.”

Ayup, that was pretty reassuring.

Up next: The Festival of Tabernacles and Jesus’s unveiling

New installments of The New Testament In Review will be posted each Monday and Thursday. The new posts will always be on my blog, http://biffster.org. The entire series is accessible via http://biffster.org/ntir. If you are one of my Facebook friends, you can get an advance preview on my Facebook page. You can also follow me (@biffster) on Twitter to be alerted to new posts.

Thank you for coming back to read more of this series, The New Testament in Review (NTiR).

Jesus’s death is creeping nearer and nearer, but a funny thing happens on our way there: Luke’s story starts to deviate from Matthew and Mark’s. Sometimes in small ways, sometimes in big ways. But the overall effect highlights the fact that the Gospels are written by different authors, and those authors have different views, different philosophies, and different agendas in their recounting of Jesus’s last days.

Chapter 19
Luke emphasizes the importance of Christ going to Jerusalem. I don’t remember this from either of the other two gospels… perhaps Mark mentioned it, too? But I digress. Jesus rides on a borrowed colt as he makes his way down the road to the holy city. A crowd of his disciples (all 82 of them) follow, singing praises to god and to Jesus. They made enough of a ruckus that the Pharisees demanded silence!

Jesus gets to the walls of Jerusalem, and then bemoaned the fate to come for the city. I know that I didn’t read this lament in either Matthew or Mark. Jesus cries “For the days will come when your enemies will build walls around you, surround you, and close you in on every side. [..] because you didn’t recognize the time when God came to help you.” (v. 43)

Chapter 20
Luke depicts Jesus telling the parable about the vineyard owner and the tenant farmers who killed the owner’s servants (prophets) and finally the owner’s son (Jesus), and the terrible vengeance that was in store for those who perpetrated such crimes (the Pharisees). In Matthew and Mark, the Pharisees are irked by this. In Luke, they are seriously pissed off. to the point that they wanted to attack Jesus then and there. The only thing that kept them from doing so were the crowds of Jesus’s followers around the temple.

There is another slight variation in theme between M&M and Luke here. The Pharisees ask which of a number of deceased husbands a wife will be with in heaven. In Matt and Mark, Jesus answered that there is no such thing as marriage in the afterlife, so after they are dead, there’s no need to worry about such things. Jesus’s answer suggests the answer is for the living: “but those who are considered worthy of a place in that age and in the resurrection from the dead neither marry nor are given in marriage.” It’s a small difference, but gives a very different outlook. Jesus could very well be saying that those who deserve to be resurrected will not marry while they are alive. Question: Is this where the Catholic Church gets the idea for unmarried priests?

Holy crap, Jesus then decides to get medieval on the Pharisees asses, as he freely and publicly disparages them, “They devour widows’ houses and say long prayers to cover it up. They will receive greater condemnation!”

Chapter 21
Jesus has had his run-in with the Pharisees, which means he is now in a bitter mood. His next recorded teachings make this crystal-clear. Jesus warns about the coming apocalypse, just like in Matthew and Mark. But then Luke imparts another side of the story, as Jesus cautions his followers of persecutions to come. If the persecution does come, Christians are in for some really bad times: “You will be betrayed even by parents, brothers, relatives, and friends, and they will put some of you to death. You will be hated continuously by everyone because of my name.” Eeek!

(Note: For you Christians who think that this is already happening, please do some research on victim mentality.)

Chapter 22
This is another recounting of the betrayal and arrest of Jesus. Luke provides a big departure from M&M, though, and this leads to an interesting retelling. First off, Judas doesn’t betray Jesus on his own, instead Satan “went into Judas.” Judas was still a weak-willed fool, but in Luke’s telling, it was the hand of Satan that directed Judas. I find that very interesting.

During the Passover meal, Satan is once again mentioned, this time by Jesus. “Satan has asked permission to sift all of you like wheat.” Jesus is very concerned that this could happen, so he continues to pray for the continued faith of his disciples, and charges Peter with keeping his brothers strong. I had absolutely no idea that Jesus made this charge. A lot of the following books in the New Testament now make a lot more sense.

After the Passover meal, Jesus follows his habit of going to Mount Olive in prayer. Luke states that an angel appears to Christ and gives Jesus strength to get through the coming ordeal. Which is a pretty cool image, and a very tender thought; even Jesus needed comfort from God.

M&M distinctly stated that Judas betrayed Jesus by kissing him. Luke sees things differently, as Jesus stops Judas, and then asks Judas “are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?” Judas stops, but the mob knows they have the right man, and they move to capture Jesus. The disciples try to fight, but Jesus holds them back. Jesus asks the Pharisees why they are stooping to come for him at night, when they didn’t dare lay a hand on him during the day when they were all in the temple. If there was an answer, it is lost to history.

There’s another major departure here. In both Matt and Mark, it is the Romans who torture and mock Jesus after Pilate sentences Jesus to death. In Luke, the Pharisees and scribes do this. It is also the Pharisees who try Jesus and pronounce him guilty.

Chapter 23
Luke continues to bring more context and depth to his Gospel. He also brings more discrepancies and inconsistencies to light. Luke’s Gospel is a very different book than Matthew and Mark’s. These last few chapters really highlight that.

Jesus is finally brought before Pilate, who almost immediately declares Jesus innocent of all charges (“I do not find anything blameworthy in this man.”) The mob doesn’t care what Pilate thinks, so Pilate does best thing he can think of: he passes the whole issue off to Herod. As one may recall from earlier in this gospel, Herod rules over Galilee, Herod had John the Baptist beheaded to please Herod’s own wife. Herod also wanted to meet Jesus for a long time; Herod even had his messengers go to Jesus. As can be imagined, Herod jumped at the chance to spend some time with Jesus.

So Herod gets his time with Jesus, but it isn’t what he expected. Jesus refuses to speak; Jesus won’t answer any of Herod’s questions. Worse, Jesus will not perform any miracles, which is the real reason Herod wanted to meet Jesus in the first place. Herod and the Galilean Pharisees mock Jesus, but Herod then dresses Jesus in “a magnificent robe” and gives him back to Pilate.

This left Pilate with a conundrum: he had an innocent man but a mob that seemed ready to revolt. Pilate tried reason: “What has he done wrong? I have found nothing in him worthy of death. So I will punish him and let him go.” Pilate was willing to punish an innocent man, hoping that the Pharisees and their mob would be happy with this. But mobs are not logical, and they tend not to be all that respectful of the law. The Pharisee-inspired mob practically started a riot, threatening to break in and lynch Jesus. So Pilate took the coward’s way out: he released Jesus to the mob and washed his hands of the whole thing.

We know how the mob handled Jesus’s release. According to Luke, Simon is forced to carry the cross by himself. Or at least that’s the way that I read Luke 23:26 (“they put the cross on him and made him carry it behind Jesus.”) I have to stop here and look through a few different translations of the Bible to see if I am imagining things. Because what Luke has does not jibe with the crucifixion story I know. I use five different translations of the Bible for these articles. This is how the five translated this verse:

To me, that doesn’t sound like Simon was helping, but that he was being forced to carry the cross, all by himself.

Back to the story, where Jesus is being led to Golgotha. Jesus encountered a group of women who were “wailing for him.” Jesus told the women not to cry for him (Argentina!), but for themselves and their children. He also meets the two other men who are also to be crucified. Matthew and Mark pretty much ignore them, but Luke shows more of the men. Criminal A (neither are actually named) mocks Jesus, telling him to save them all. Criminal B, however, shows a spirit of honor. He chastises Criminal A, saying both deserve their fate, but Jesus has done nothing wrong. He then turns to Jesus and asks not for salvation, but just that Jesus remember him when Jesus enters his kingdom. This is, again, Luke at his finest.

Jesus lasts for three hours on the cross, then finally succumbs, dying at 3:00 in the afternoon. The Roman centurion who had been supervising the crucifixion was moved, and declared that Jesus was truly righteous. Those in the crowd who saw this interaction also realized that crucifying Christ was wrong, and turned their backs on the whole thing.

Jesus’s loved ones do not abandon him, of course.

Chapter 24
After Passover and the sabbath are over, “Mary Magdalene, Joanna, Mary the mother of James, and some other” women make their way to Jesus’s tomb to anoint Jesus’s body with spices. When they got there, however, the cover stone for the tomb has been rolled away. Two men in “dazzling robes” greet them. Notice that these men are not called angels? The women immediately headed to where the 12 (er, sorry, it is 11 now) are gathered. The women try to explain what happened, but it was assumed that the women were just speaking gibberish. Damned misogynists! Peter was curious enough that he went to the tomb to investigate, but when he saw the empty tomb, he decided to go home and figure out just what happened.

Two of the 71 disciples are walking on the road from Jerusalem to Emmaus. A man they didn’t recognize them joins them on the seven-mile journey. (Have I mentioned I love the little details Luke adds to his tales?) He asks what they are discussing, which astonishes them. They ask him the equivalent of “Have you been living under a rock?” They give him the short version of the story, up through the women finding an empty tomb. The man then joins in on the conversation, discussing scriptures and how they apply to the story at hand. “Then, beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he explained to them all the passages of Scripture about himself.”

The two disciples aren’t the brightest of the bunch (though Luke credits them with being blinded by God instead of not being very smart) and don’t realize who they are walking with. They do offer the man a place to stay, and ask him to join them for a meal. The man does, and at their meal he breaks and blesses the bread for the meal. The men finally put two and two together (“Then their eyes were opened.”) Unfortunately, once they figure it out, Jesus disappears.

These two immediately got up and headed back to Jerusalem, and ran directly to the eleven. They spilled their story, and everyone started to discuss this. I can only imagine the discussions, but I am sure it was almost impossible to hear anything over the buzz of the conversation. Sadly, Luke doesn’t give any fragments of the conversation.

As the discussion continues, Jesus enters the room. Everyone is terrified, of course. They are seeing a dead man walking amongst them, after all! Jesus calms them, asking those gathered to touch him to prove to themselves that he isn’t a ghost. While they tried to digest this, Jesus turns his mind to a different type of digestion: “Do you have anything here to eat?” The disciples did, of course, so they gave him some broiled fish, which he ate with them. And really, who can blame him? Lord knows I’d be hungry after three days.

Luke gives his Gospel a happy, promising ending. Jesus tells his disciples that all of the promises in scripture have been fulfilled by him, and that “repentance and forgiveness of sins is to be proclaimed in his name to all the nations.” Jesus walks with the disciples to Bethany, blesses them, and leaves them.

Repentance and forgiveness of sins. What a wonderful message.

Conclusion
And thus ends Luke’s gospel. This is – by far – my favorite of the gospels so far. As I mentioned a few times through this series, I am impressed and entranced by the richness Luke gives to his writing. I also love that Jesus and the disciples are not the only people in the story to play a prominent role. Luke shows that others were capable of love and honor and courage and compassion. Luke’s Gospel is grounded in the people and places and atmosphere of the time. His Gospel reads more like a novel than a history text, and I mean that in the best possible way.

Luke painted his Gospel – and his rendition of Christ – with love and hope and, most of all, forgiveness. His Gospel is uplifting and heartening, and is truly beautiful. Reading the Gospel of Luke has been a pleasure, one that I won’t soon forget.

Translation key:
[ASV] = American Standard Version
[ISV] = International Standard Version
[KJV] = King James Version
[NEText] = New English Translation
[WEB] = World English Bible

Up next: The Gospel of John, which I can already tell is going to annoy me.

New installments of The New Testament In Review will be posted each Monday and Thursday. The new posts will always be on my blog, http://biffster.org. The entire series is accessible via http://biffster.org/ntir. If you are one of my Facebook friends, you can get an advance preview on my Facebook page. You can also follow me (@biffster) on Twitter to be alerted to new posts.

Thank you for coming back to read more of this series, The New Testament in Review.

I’ve heard it said that people cannot or will not envision Christ as a human, with human interests. Luke hints at Jesus as a drinker, a joker and a singer. I don’t know about you, but I find this depiction of Jesus much more than the idea of a conservative (not in the political sense) goody two shoes who never drinks, never curses, is always clean-shaven and dressed in his Sunday best.

Chapter 13
Jesus has lightened up a little bit, and instead of threatening his listeners with an eternity of burning in hell, he tells the listeners how to repent to get back into God’s grace. Jesus tells a parable here, a man wants to cut down a fig tree that hasn’t given fruit in three years. The gardener says “no, give me another year, and let me fertilize it.” Christ is obviously the gardener here, but who is the gardener after his death?

Jesus does have a rebuke for Jerusalem. And to rub it in, he rebukes them in song:

O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, who kills the prophets and stones to death those who have been sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you didn’t want to!
Look! Your house is left to you deserted. I tell you, you will not see me again until you say, ‘How blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord!'”

Chapter 14
Luke spent much of the first chapters of his gospel writing about everything except for what Jesus was teaching. In the last few chapters, he has written nothing but what Jesus was teaching. Much of this chapter is new to me. At least compared to the previous two gospels. Luke had a specific part of Christ’s teachings that he wanted to concentrate on or clairfy, and we’re to it now.

For example, regarding the “the greatest among you must become the least” idea that was mentioned in Matthew and Mark.” Luke details a parable that Jesus told to highlight this. If a person is invited to a wedding banquet and sits in one of the seats of honor, that person will probably be asked to get up and take one of the lesser seats. Christ says that this would leave the person in disgrace. However, if the person takes a seat that indicates no honor, the host will tell the person, “come up closer, my friend!” and that person will be honored by those watching.

Luke also highlights Jesus’s parables that charge one with taking care of “the poor, the crippled, the blind, and the lame.”

I have a big aside here, and this is going to dig deep into politics. A lot of Christian denominations align themselves with the Republican Party. However, it is the Democratic Party that fights for such things as health care and unemployment insurance and food stamps and welfare. It seems clear to me which party most embodies Christ’s call to take care of the poor and ill and homeless. And that party isn’t the Republican Party. So why do so many Christians stick with them? But I digress.

In the remainder of Luke 14, Christ describes what one must do to become a true disciple. And it isn’t pretty. A true disciple must “hate his father, mother, wife, children, brothers, and sisters, as well as his own life,” take up their own burdens, give up everything that is important to a person, as well as any possessions they may have. Is there anyone nowadays that can live up to those requirements?

Chapter 15
This chapter is a celebration of repentance, a rejoicing in forgiveness. It is at once glorious and joyous. Everyone knows the story of The Prodigal Son. It’s a story of joy and rebirth. Everyone – except for the faithful brother who really does get the short end of the stick – rejoices when the prodigal son returns. The one who was presumed lost is celebrated when found again. As is the stray sheep who is found. The sheep parable is a little odd, because the shepherd risks losing the other 99 just to find the one. I personally would’ve kept the 99 and written the 1 off, but that’s just me.

Chapter 16
The chapter opens up with another warning about monetary wealth. This time in parable form: a (financial?) manager who is about to be fired gets his clients to falsify the amount of money they actually owe to the Master. One who owes $100 states that he owes $50, etc. This seemed logical, until the next bit: ” The master praised the dishonest manager for being so clever.” Hmmm… To make things a little more confusing, Jesus then explains the parable with: “I’m telling you, make friends for yourselves by means of unrighteous riches, so that when they’re gone you’ll be welcomed into eternal homes.” That has me totally and completely baffled. Can anyone explain to me exactly what this means?

Luke doesn’t have much respect for the Pharisees either, sneaking in another little dig, “Now the Pharisees, who love money…” Jesus told another parable, this time of Lazarus the leper and an unnamed rich man. Lazarus would go to beg for table scraps at the rich man’s table. Both died; Lazarus ended up in heaven with Abraham, while the rich man ended up in Hades. The rich man begged for help, but Abraham told him it was not allowed, nor was it possible. Abraham said that people have the teachings of Moses and the prophets to help them get to heaven. We just need to listen to those teachings and live our life by these.

Mind you, the Pharisees are well versed in scriptures, and should know the teachings of Moses and the prophets better than most. This is a double-slight on Jesus’s part, telling the Pharisees both that their love for money has pulled them off the path set out by scripture. Needless to say, the Pharisees don’t like being told they are going to hell.

Chapter 17
Not much going on here. More teachings on faith and sin (don’t lead anyone to sin, forgive someone whenever they ask for forgiveness). There’s a slight contradiction regarding how to tell when the kingdom of god is coming. On the one hand, Jesus says that “The kingdom of God is not coming with a visible display” and warns his disciples that there will be people claiming to be Christ but actually aren’t. However, Jesus then says “For just as lightning flashes and shines from one end of the sky to the other, so will the Son of Man be in his day.” which one is which?

Jesus also warns that not everyone will be allowed into the kingdom of god (this is a very common theme in the gospels so far, especially in Luke). A wife might be chosen while her husband is left behind. The disciples asks where this will happen, and Jesus gives a grisly answer: “Wherever there’s a dead body, there the vultures will gather.” [shudder]

Chapter 18
This is a quick chapter. Jesus finishes up his sermon and gets the disciples ready to travel. He tells the 12 that they are going to make their way to Jerusalem. Jesus also warns that he is going to be tortured and killed, but the disciples don’t understand what he is saying.

Up next: Luke tells a new tale about the death of Christ

New installments of The New Testament In Review will be posted each Monday and Thursday. The new posts will always be on my blog, http://biffster.org. The entire series will be accessible via http://biffster.org/category/bible If you are one of my Facebook friends, you can get an advance preview on my Facebook page.

Thank you for coming back to read more of this series, The New Testament in Review.

If I could only read one chapter in the entire Bible, it would be Luke 7.  Words fail me when I try to describe the beauty of this chapter. Forgiveness and love are brought to life. Faith and redemption intermingle and flow off the pages of the book. This chapter by itself is a masterpiece. Please, please take the time to read Luke 7. You won’t regret it.

Chapter 7
There are chapters and verses in the Bible that give a person hope and faith and a sense of love so real that it is overwhelming. The are the parts of the Bible that can convert someone to believe in Christ and his teachings and to become a follower. Luke 7 is all of that and more. I cannot begin to describe how wondrous this chapter is, but I can at least give you an idea of the events.

Jesus heads back to Capernaum  (what is it about that town that draws Christ there so often?) and bumps into a centurion. Unlike Luke, we don’t find out his name. His story is almost universally known, however. The centurion’s servant is dying, so the centurion has other servants seeks out Jesus to see if Jesus can heal the servant. Jesus starts on his way to the centurion’s house, but is met by the centurion’s friend. The relay the centurion’s message: “I am not worthy to have you come under my roof. That’s why I didn’t presume to come to you. But just say the word, and let my servant be healed.” Jesus is amazed at the centurion’s faith (“I tell you, not even in Israel have I found this kind of faith!”) and heals the servant.

Luke adds more texture to these stories, as I’ve come to expect. A crowd followed Jesus to Nain. They stumble upon a funeral procession and a devastated mother. She is a widow, and he was her only son. Jesus is moved by the woman’s grief, tells the boy to get up. So the boy sits up in his coffin and lives once more. The crowd does what you’d expect: They start running around in fear! That’s another nice touch by Luke.

This is also where John the Baptist sends messengers to find Jesus. John wants to know if Jesus is the Christ, or if John should continue to search to find the messiah. And who can blame John? I am sure that he wanted to get out of the wilderness, find clothes that weren’t made out of camel hair, take a nice, long bath and then have a filling meal. As with the other gospels, Jesus doesn’t answer the question directly, but instead tells the messengers to describe everything they’ve heard and seen Jesus do, and let John make up his own mind.

Jesus then goes on to talk about John the Baptist. This is something that I don’t remember from the other gospels. He asks the people what they expected the Baptist to look and be like, then extols him: “Really, what did you go out to see? A prophet? Yes, I tell you, and even more than a prophet! […] I tell you, among those born of women no one is greater than John.” And I would expect the two to have a close bond: their mothers knew each other, they were about the same age (John is six months older), and they lived in the same general area. There should be a mutual fondness between the two.

Luke takes a second to editorialize here: “the Pharisees and the experts in the law rejected God’s plan for themselves.” Then he recounts Jesus singing a children’s song to mock the Pharisees:

A wedding song we played for you,
the dance you did but scorn.
A woeful dirge we chanted, too,
but then you did not mourn.

Jesus then points out a major difference between the Baptist and himself: John doesn’t drink, but Jesus has been known to like his wine. (“The Son of Man has come eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Look, a glutton and a drunk, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’”

I seriously think that Jesus would be fun to hang out with. He has a sense of humor, likes to drink wine and tells great stories.

There’s one more story in Luke. It’s in the other Gospels, too. But the other Gospels just mention that Jesus forgave the sins of a woman who touched him. In Luke, the story is mangified, clarified and brought to life.

A Pharisee invites Jesus for dinner, and Jesus actually goes to the Pharisee’s home. A towns woman – and notorious sinner – learns that Jesus is on his way, and she meets him there. She washes “his feet with her tears and dry them with her hair. Then she kissed his feet over and over again.” The Pharisee is shocked, of course, but also tries to use the fact that Jesus is allowing this behavior as proof that Jesus isn’t a prophet. (One note here: this is one of many times that those near Jesus refer to him as a prophet. I don’t remember Jesus ever correcting them.)

Jesus has an answer for Simon (Luke does name the Pharisee, after all). In parable form, of course: two men owe a loan shark money, one owes $500, and one owes $50. Who will be more grateful if the loan shark forgives their debts?

Simon gives the easy answer, then  Jesus explains the parable to Simon. The woman’s sins were high, so she was the most grateful to have them forgiven. She showed Jesus love and kindness in thanks. Simon had very few sins to be forgiven, but as such he did not show any kindness. Jesus then turns to the woman and says “Your faith had saved you. Go in peace.”

I am moved, truly moved.

Chapter 8
First off, I was completely wrong about the story of Simon and the sinner. That is a completely different tale than the woman who reached out through the crowd and touched Jesus’s arm. That story is here in Chapter 8. As is the casting out of Legion, and the parable of the sower. Mary Magdalene is also mentioned by name here, but only to say that she was with the crowd of Jesus’s followers.

Chapter 9
There’s not much new in Chapter 9. There are some small changes, details given, bits explained (for example, Herod doesn’t think that Jesus is the Baptist reincarnated. But he does want to meet Jesus.) Most of Chapter 9 can be skipped as extraneous.

Oh, one funny line: after the disciples see Moses and Elijah, Matthew asks if he should set up tents. To which, Luke parenthetically adds: “Peter didn’t know what he was saying.” For some reason, this gave me the giggles.

One last bit before we move on: Jesus has started to prophesy his death. The disciples don’t understand (it is hinted that god keeps them from understanding), but Christ is foreshadowing his end.

Chapter 10
Jesus adds 70 new disciples to his group. Wait, what was that? Why have I not heard of these 70 disciples before? I am pretty sure I haven’t, anyway. All I remember are the 12. This is the reason I am re-reading the New Testament. There’s so much in here that I don’t remember at all. And Luke’s Gospel appears to be chock full of stuff I can’t recall ever hearing.

Jesus sends the 70 out into neighboring towns. They are charged with seeing if the towns believe and are practicing Jesus’s teachings. These are all towns where Jesus went to, taught and performed miracles in, including Bethsaida, Chorazin and Capernaum. (Not a surprise there: Capernaum is one of the two cities that actually threw Jesus out of town.) Jesus also gets a little mythical on us here. Jesus says that he saw Satan “fall from heaven like lightning.”

After this, an “expert in the law” asked Jesus what must be done to gain eternal life? Jesus turned the question back on the questioner (as Christ was wont to do) by asking what the law (scriptures) says. The man answered that a person must love God and love your neighbor. Jesus said this was correct, but then the man asked a question which made Jesus stop and think for a bit.  This is one of the first time’s that Luke has shown Jesus as anything less than perfect. That intrigues me.

Oh, the question is: “Who is my neighbor?” After pondering this for a while, Jesus tells the parable of the Good Samaritan. Then Jesus asks which of the three would be the attacked man’s neighbor: the priest who walked by without stopping, the Levite who crossed to the opposite side of the street, or the Samaritan who stopped, tended to the man’s wounds and took him to an Inn to heal.

At the end of the chapter, Jesus visits the home of Martha. Martha’s sister Mary sat with Jesus and listened to everything he had to say. Could this have been Mary Magdalene? This isn’t specifically stated, but Jesus says that “there’s only one thing you need. Mary has chosen what is better, and it is not to be taken away from her.” Is it safe to say that the better something that Mary has chosen is Christ’s love?

Chapter 11
Chapter 11 starts out with the Lord’s Prayer, and then leads right into a charming parable. I’ll type it out here instead of pasting, because it is impossible to keep track of which “he” is being referred to. Someone needed to tell Luke to watch out for pronoun confusion!

Suppose that one of your friends knocks on your door at midnight, and asks for some bread. The friend says that they have unexpected guests, and have nothing to feed the guests. You are tired and grumpy, so you say “Hey, it’s after midnight, everyone is asleep and our doors are locked. Go over to King Soopers or something and leave me alone.”

If your friend stays at your door knocking instead of going away, you would probably get tired of the knocking and give your friend the bread, just so you could get back to sleep. Jesus equates this to praying. You may not get what you ask for immediately, but if you keep at it, persistently praying and asking God, you will get what you want.

Need I point out that Jesus is suggesting that we act like a two year old who wants something that their parents won’t give them?

Chapter 11 is full of famous quotes that are commonly used – almost always out of context – today. An example of some of them:

Chapter 12
I am noticing a trend here: Jesus ends up in a bad mood anytime he’s had to deal with the Pharisees. Jesus is in a very bad mood in chapter 12, warning everyone that there will be blood! All secrets will be revealed, God has the power kill you and throw you into hell, there’s no redemption for those who blaspheme against the Holy Spirit, etc. Jesus again gives his fun little bon mot: “Do you think that I came to bring peace on earth? Not at all, I tell you”.

There are some glimpses of light in Chapter 12, but not many.

Oh, one interesting note: Luke 12:28 has the ” o ye of little faith” line. Like most of the other Biblical quotes that have become embedded into our popular culture, it is taken out of context. The full quote is: “Now if that’s the way God clothes the grass in the field, which is alive today and thrown into an oven tomorrow, how much more will he clothe you—you who have little faith?” It’s not an admonition but a rebuke.

Up next: Jesus sings a rebuke to Jerusalem.

New installments of The New Testament In Review will be posted each Monday and Thursday. The new posts will always be on my blog, http://biffster.org. The entire series is accessible via http://biffster.org/ntir. If you are one of my Facebook friends, you can get an advance preview on my Facebook page. You can also follow me (@biffster) on Twitter to be alerted to new posts.

Thank you for coming back to read more of this series, The New Testament in Review.

The Gospel of Luke

I am a little surprised at how hard it is to keep up this pace. I am pretty sure I am going to start spreading out the post dates for these posts. I might go from twice a week to once a week. The downside is it would take the equivalent of a month to get through some of the longer chapters in the New Testament (e.g. Matthew). What say you?

We are up to the Gospel of Luke. I have good feelings about this one.Two things I notice about Luke’s gospel that may or may not hold: 1) Luke is a lot more complete. He seems to give details of who is around Jesus, and other events that are happening. 2) Luke sounds a lot more like an Old Testament writer. NOTE FROM THE FUTURE: Luke also turns out to be one hell of a writer, and his gospel quickly becomes my favorite book in the Bible. It is masterful. My review below does not do it justice.

Chapter 1
The worst opening line ever written: “Forasmuch as many have taken in hand to set forth in order a declaration of those things which are most surely believed among us”

WTF?

Seriously, WTF? If you are one of those who swear by the King James Version, even after reading that I just have to assume that you are masochists. Or that you haven’t read that verse (or the many like it). Seriously, step out of the 17th century already!

My translation of choice (as you may have noticed) is the International Standard Version, which renders a much more logical “Since many people have attempted to write an orderly account of the events that have been fulfilled among us.” Sounds much better.

Luke has written this Gospel for Theophilus. I had to look it up too. No one apparently knows who Theophilus was. His name is recorded, but otherwise Theophilus has been lost to history.

Anyway, that is besides the point. Luke starts ahead of the beginning of the story, taking us 6 months into the past. Luke wants to introduce us to Zechariah – a priest of the order of Abijah, and his wife Elizabeth. Elizabeth was barren, which will play into the story in a bit. One day at the temple, The Angel of the Lord (in this case, Gabriel) appears to Zechariah, tells him that Elizabeth is going to get pregnant and to name the baby John. Zechariah is a bit doubtful, so the angel strikes him mute until the child is born.

Interestingly enough, after reading that Zechariah couldn’t talk to anyone, I wondered why he couldn’t just write down what he wanted to say. Turns out I was reading ahead a little without even realizing it. He’s a smart one, that Zech. He just needs to learn how to speak reverently with an angel. Gabriel doesn’t have a sense of humor about this kind of stuff.

Elizabeth gets pregnant, and about 6 months in, her friend Mary turns up pregnant. Mary is, of course, pregnant by the Holy Spirit (or by Joseph, depending on your point of view) with Jesus. Elizabeth, it turns out, is pregnant with John the Baptist. No wonder why they grow up to be such friends!

Chapter 2
Oh, wait, this is still Chapter 1. This may be the longest chapter in the Bible. Luke goes on for 80 verses before moving on to Chapter Two. And while a lot of those verses are very nice, I have to repeat: 80 friggin’ verses! I thought that I can be verbose? sheesh!

A lot of those verses are taken up by psalms. The first is one that every Catholic in the world knows by hear: “blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb!” (v. 42) But there is a great song from Mary to the Lord (v. 46-55) and from Zecheriah (v. 68-79) Both are good, Mary’s is very good:

From now on, all generations will call me blessed
because the Almighty has done great things for me.
His name is holy.

Chapter 2 (really)
My god, 52 verses. I’ll tell you one thing about Luke: he isn’t into brevity. But I have to say, I am really liking Luke. He is adding a lot of context and subtly to his story that Matt and Mark were sorely lacking. He is also anchoring the setting of his story, both in location and history. Matthew and Mark sat down to write reports on what happened, while Luke decided to write a novel.

As you can guess by its length, a lot happens in chapter 2. In the first half, Caesar Augustus orders a census. Quirinius, Governor of Syria, demanded all Jews return to their hometowns to be counted. The names and historical events help ground the story, and help future generations consult ancient records and find when and where the story took place. I love this!

We know the story from here: all of the inns in Bethlehem (the city of David, since Joseph is from the house of David) were full, so they had to stay in a stable. The baby was born, wrapped in strips of cloth and laid in a manger. Gabriel commanded that the baby’s name would be Jesus (I didn’t realize Gabriel named Jesus). Angels appeared to nearby shepherds and proclaimed the baby Christ, the shepherds traveled to see the child, they left after 8 days and the poor child was circumcised.

Of course, Luke writes this in a more eloquent style, and adds some amazing subtext. Like this small bit from v. 18-19: “All who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds told them, but Mary continued to treasure in her heart all these things and to ponder them.” Mary is painted as a real woman, a real mother. You can feel her love for her new baby. To her it doesn’t matter whether or not he is the son of God. He is her son; that is what is important.

Jesus grows up in chapter two, and we see some of it. As a baby, he keeps getting labeled as someone holy, normally by priests or elders at the temple. One man (Simeon) dies in peace because he has finally seen the Christ. Luke likes psalms and songs, so Simeon of course has to give one before he dies. I like it, so I’ll quote it in full:

Master, now you are allowing your servant to leave in peace according to your word.
For my eyes have seen your salvation,
which you prepared for all people to see—
a light that will reveal salvation to the Gentiles and bring glory to your people Israel.”

One day, when Jesus was 12, the family made the journey from Nazareth to the temple in Jerusalem. On their way back, Mary and Joseph realized they had no idea where Jesus was. After three days of frantic searching and retracting their steps, they finally found Jesus learning from teachers at the temple.

Mary reacts exactly like you’d expect a mother to react: “Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been worried sick looking for you!” Luke doesn’t mention it, but I am certain that Jesus ended up being grounded after that stunt.

One last line, to show just how well Luke understood Mary: “His mother continued to treasure all these things in her heart.” No matter what Jesus did, whether it was to be respectful or to scare the living hell out of her, Mary loved him with all of her heart.

Chapter 3
I don’t know if I mentioned this already or not, but Luke’s Gospel could be made into a musical. Everyone breaks into song, including Mary, Zecheriah, Simeon, and now John the Baptist. Who actually becomes a Baptist here; before this he was just John. John is a very strict, stern tearcher: he warns the people that they are damned unless they are baptized. And who would be foolish enough not to be baptized after hearing that?

There’s a bit of a time discrepancy here: in Matthew and Mark, John baptizes Jesus long before John is arrested on Herod’s orders. In Luke, John is arrested very early. In verse order, John is arrested (v. 20) and then Jesus is baptized (v. 21). On this timeline, John didn’t baptize Jesus. Some unnamed someone did. Which, in the grand scheme of things doesn’t mean much: Jesus was baptized, it doesn’t matter by who. But that’s definitely an inconsistency in the Bible.

Oh, there’s one more Biblical inconsistency in the next verse. In Mattew and Mark, when heaven opens up God speaks to everyone in the area, saying “this is my son.” In Luke, when heaven opens up, God speaks directly to Jesus, saying “You are my son, whom I love.” It’s a small discrepancy, but contextually it is much bigger. In Matt and Mark, since God tells those listening that Jesus is his son, I assume that Jesus already knows. In Luke, since God is telling Jesus, I assume that Jesus either doesn’t know, or doesn’t really believe.

Chapter 4
This chapter is kinda dull. since Jesus is already in the wilderness, he goes out and is tempted by the devil. The only difference of note is that the devil is planning to tempt Jesus again (“he left him until another time”). When was that time?

Jesus heads back to the temple to do some more teaching, and he’s a little cocky about it. He reads a long excerpt from Isaiah, then tells the temple-goers “Today this Scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing.” This is in Nazareth, by the way, and the Nazarenes are shocked that Jesus is actually teaching with this kind of authority. But then something unexpected happens: Jesus rebukes them. And he does it in song! (Well, maybe not in song. But it would be awesome if he did.)

Jesus tells everyone listening that he will not perform the miracles and healings that he did in Capernaum, because “a prophet is not accepted in his hometown.” Jesus then goes on to compare the people of his hometown to widows and, in a brilliantly-worded insult, to “many lepers in Israel in the prophet Elisha’s time, yet not one of them was cleansed except Naaman the Syrian.”

The people listening to this paused for a second, then erupted with anger. A crowd formed around Jesus, and they forced him out of the city, and up to the edge of a hill. They stopped there, trying to get up the courage to toss Christ over the side. Instead, Jesus just walked through the crowd and shook the dust of the town off his sandals.

Okay, I must say, that was an awesome story. I take back some of the things I said about this chapter.

Chapter 5
Luke must’ve been a fisherman, because he knows a whole lot about fishing. Enough to go into some detail. In Matthew and Mark, Christ’s recruitment of the fishermen Simon Peter, John and James is given a mere sentence or two. In Luke, they are given a whole paragraph, v. 4-11. Jesus escapes being crushed to death by hopping on board Simon Peter’s boat and having Simon row him out to sea. In thanks, Jesus allows such a big catch of fish that one boat cannot hold it. It’s a small thing, but Luke’s detail really enhances the story.

Interesting: In Luke, Matthew is referred to as Levi. Christ calls upon Levi to follow; Levi leaves everything behind to follow. It’s standard stuff, but I just found it interesting that Matthew refers to himself by name, but Luke calls him Levi. There’s probably good explanation for this, right?

Chapter 6
We are six chapters in, and Luke finally decides he should capture some of Jesus’s major teachings word-for-word. He records Jesus’s speech on the hillside. I’ve mentioned before how much I love this part. I found another line in that speech that I don’t remember but love just as much: “One blind person can’t lead another blind person, can he? Both will fall into a ditch, won’t they?”

Up next: The most loving, most forgiving, most uplifting chapter in the entire bible

New installments of The New Testament In Review will be posted each Monday and Thursday. The new posts will always be on my blog, http://biffster.org. The entire series is accessible via http://biffster.org/ntir. If you are one of my Facebook friends, you can get an advance preview on my Facebook page. You can also follow me (@biffster) on Twitter to be alerted to new posts.